1. Never tell funny stories about your children unless you are certain you would be amused if everyone else told you funny stories about their children.
2. Never try to start a long conversation with someone who obviously is busy or in a hurry.
3. Never talk to yourself in the middle of talking to others. (let's see: was it really last August? Maybe it was the first week in September -- that was when Aunt Millie was visiting.)
4. Never describe the plot of a film or book your victim hasn't seen or read.
5. Never apologize for something you're really proud of.
6. Above all, never forget that other people also prefer talking to listening. Give them a turn.