Most of us do not realize the negative communication stereotypes projected by using "ah" or "you know" in the middle of their sentences.
By using too many "ums," "uhs, "uhs," and "you knows" is the verbal equivalent of stepping on a landmine. We cannot afford to make those little slips in corporate America, they reinforce the negative communication stereotypes about minorities, especially minority males.
Speech experts say those little grunts and thoughtless phrases are perfectly all in moderation because they help us compose our thoughts when we get into a tight jam. In excess, though, they can be very irritating.
To get an idea whether you "um," "like", or "you know" your way through life, videotape yourself eating dinner or giving a presentation, or better still watch the "brother on the street" television interviews.
Many people cannot even watch themselves when they hear all the "um," and "you knows." When we realize the problem, it's very easy to fix.
Try using a spouse, friend or colleague to point out every time you drop one of these verbal landmines. Or try learning to pause when you need time to gather your thoughts, the pause has impact --it gives the listener time to think about what you have said.
The use of these verbal landmines multiplies as we feel more uncomfortable talking or speaking before groups, these little boom booms have a tendacy to lose people in conversations or presentations.
People who rely on stalling phrases a lot tend to be folks who do not know how their words will be received. But people who expect to be taken seriously, like the rich and powerful, tend not to use many fillers, it their place in life to have opinions.
To sound like you are in control even when you may not be, practice what you want to say.
To build your confidence level, try taking an assertiveness training course, or join Toastmasters', and remember, practice, practice to build our confidence. That way, well "you know".