Last month the Conflict Management Reader's Workshop section of Minority Career News focused on: Providing a positive conflict resolution environment. This month we will focus on: Utilizing effective conflict resolution techniques.
It's critical to deal with the emotional part of conflict before progressing onto problem-solving. If either party is emotional about the situation, you should first take time to discuss how each other feels. This can be difficult but it is vital if you wish to resolve the problem. Sometimes just talking out the feelings will clear up the entire conflict. Three important tips to remember when discussing each others feelings are:
1. Express your needs, feelings and views honestly.
When expressing you feelings, needs, and viewpoint, keep your voice calm. Use this simple formula to get your message across:
I feel....
I think...
I need...
Notice that each of these sentences begin with I. Using I statements will keep you focused on what and how you feel. You should always avoid statements like, "You make me feel..." these types of statements place blame on the other person which can lead to further conflict.
2. Give the other person respect.
Show respect for the other person in both your body language and words. This can be a difficult task, especially when you disagree with what the other person has to say. However, careless words or actions that illustrate disrespect may cause irreversible damage to the relationship. You should actively listen, avoid sarcasm and display a body language that say's your listening. Face the person and lean slightly toward them. Keep an "open" position with your arms and legs uncrossed. Maintain eye contact without staring and nod your head occasionally to indicate your understanding.
3. Listen to the other person, actively try to understand their point of view.
Concentrate on understanding the other persons complete feelings. Focus on both the words and the feelings that the words communicate. Do not attempt to apologize, explain or state your viewpoints at this time. Remain focused on the person talking. When the other person is done talking, ask questions to clarify if there is confusion. Restate the other person's ideas and feelings to ensure you understand them correctly.
Using these three conflict resolution techniques should get you on the right track for solving any conflict. Next month, MCN will complete the Conflict Management Reader's workshop. Our focus will be Utilizing Negotiating Techniques.
John Jordan Jr.